Runaway
by Octavia-Snape
Summary: She had run for eight years, tired and weary she was found by her old friends. Now she must face up to her life and the consequences of running.
1. State of Mind

Chapter One: State Of Mind  
Dedicated to: Invaders of belly buttons everywhere.  
-Octavia x-  
  
Where do I go from here  
Or am I just like a clock spinning round  
Everything seems unclear  
Confusion is raising it's head  
And I can't make a sound  
I feel it tearing at my soul  
While I'm asleep  
I feel it driving me to something I'll regret.~ State of Mind by Merril Bainbridge  
  
Walking alone hands tucked into her leather coat, shoulder hunched, hiding inside herself. A cold breathless sigh as she approached the ticket barrier, a nod to the guard, regular she was, regular as if she could ever be that. It was cold, it was some ungodly hour of the morning and she had been wondering club to club, street to street in search of what, happiness? No that was along way from here, the normally hot stifling weather of Australia got to her in the day but the weather of night, the silence on the train going to her 'home', it was bliss or as close to bliss as she could get.  
For years she had been wandering, running from him, running from them.  
  
She had seen them day to day in her mind, the victims and it haunted her. She felt it tearing at her, felt it hurting her. She wished for a night of normality but she hadn't been normal for years. Ever since her eleventh birthday, the day she emerged into reality. She had been a normal girl until then now she noticed every shadow, everything was so clear and in focus now it had made her isolated, her old world seemed so uninviting so sterile and this new world had hated her. So on her sixteenth birthday after the burning's she began to run. That had been eight years ago.  
  
Paying the small fare to travel back up the mountains, she crossed another barrier boarding the train. It started with a train journey and ended with one, the magical world, a world she would never forget. She fingered something in her pocket, a sliver of wood, she never used it in case they traced her found her, dragged her back. She couldn't return, not now not ever. They hated her, it was too long, the war was over but they hated her. She was a coward, a traitor, once a brilliant bright jewel now a mere shadow of the thing once adored.  
  
Another breathless sigh. Regrets, she had many. She could have gone back but she didn't, she didn't want to see them again, she didn't want to hear their voices, or smell them especially him. He had broken all her barriers, loved her, every part of her, every mistake but they could never be together. Rules forced them apart, age was never an issue just the ever presence of her guardians, her friends. They would never understand and so the night he had ended it, the night after the burning's, she had left. She didn't even know what had happened to them, she cared about them still but it was a mistake she could never rectify.  
  
Time seemed to not exist on this train, it seemed forever before the train pulled out of the station, a dark haired man with some grey streaks in his hair sat down a few seats away from her. She looked back at him, he reminded her of him. But not to think of that, she had been careful and besides that nose was far to straight. She had always loved that nose of his, his hair, his mannerisms. She had loved him. The things we do for love. Leaving him had hurt her so much but he had ended it to protect her and she had run to protect him and herself from what she still wasn't sure.  
  
She the student, he the teacher. The relationship was doomed from the start, they both knew it but they had continued it anyway, couldn't resist each other. Heated, passionate, deep. It had all made so much sense but confused her at the same time, she felt numb when he left her, the cold world surrounding her felt alienating so she left. Leaving on a train that took her away from her home, her school, her friends. And then from there out of the country, leaving her family, her life.  
  
She was a new woman now, a new person. Catherine Bennett. Cathy Bennett. Taken from her two favourite heroines, Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Catherine Earnshaw/ Linton, Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice, wonderfully victorian novels they reflected her she thought her old self. She didn't even look like her old self, her hair now more of an ocher colour, her eyes amber feline like, her whole body had matured of course and she had changed her physical features so not to look like her old self. She was a new woman, a new broody elegant woman. Her colleagues at the library said she was a lithe woman who should show off her figure instead of covering it up with strange almost 'magical' clothes. She had scoffed. They would never know the truth. No one would.  
  
Her stop. Grabbing her small bag, she passed the gentleman she had thought to look like him. He could pass for him at a distance but not remotely like him when close, in fact he seemed cheery. Something he had never been. Getting off the train, she rubbed her hands together, always colder up in the mountains. Leura station. So desolate and so grim. A recently converted tourist trap. She walked up towards the taxi rank. She was safe here, she felt safe, happy in a way.  
  
Climbing into a taxi she breathed the address out, the driver noting her accent. They always noticed the English, she had kept the accent, her voice had changed a little but it was still her voice. As they pulled up to Davies street she walked up her tumble-down driveway, not many bushes, too dangerous here where funnel webs probably outnumbered humans.  
  
She never noticed the snag of black material on the steps. Taking her key she went to put it into the blue housed door, but it was open. Her hand was automatically on the wood. Reassurance, she wouldn't use it. Moving stealthily into the house, the fire was lit in the fireplace, she hadn't seen the smoke or light, she had been too preoccupied. Her scream was stifled when a hand went round her waist and mouth.  
  
"Boo." 


	2. Miss You

Chapter Two: Miss You  
Dedicated to: Stealers of Chairs with the cunning use of flags  
AN: Funnel web is a type of venomous spider you find in Australia. Yes it is set in Australia, Hermione got on the train in Sydney and took the two hour journey train ride up to Leura in the Blue Mountains. Yes this is a Hermione/Severus fic but the others will feature heavily in it.  
- Octavia x -  
  
We used to fight a lot but  
What a time we had  
And when I think about those days  
They're not so bad  
'Cause now I miss you  
Yes I miss you  
I'll always miss you  
Now your gone~ Miss You by Merril Bainbridge  
  
"Boo." His voice, the voice she had dreaded ever hearing again, it pulled at her like the moon did to the tide and she wished he would take those beautiful hands from her waist. It was too much, shock. Too scary. Too unnerving. She needed to run but her rebellious legs wouldn't move. The hand moved from her mouth. She licked her lips slowly, considering what to do, he would catch her if she ran and where would she run to, her scarce neighbours were either away or only had the home for the summer. She slowly found her voice considering her reply.  
  
"Boo back." She said quietly, he turned her to face him and tutted running those hands through her hair across the cheekbones she had created for herself along with Catherine. He shook his head and took his wand out. She looked at it warily. Removing the charms she had put on her, brown eyes returning, cheekbones filling out, her height seeming to grow the clothes fitting her better. She was curvy, rounder in the face, she looked more softer, more real and less ethereal. Her hair stayed the same trendy crop that seemed almost slanted with a fringe that swept across the face instead of laying flat on the forehead, the colour was different though now a mousy brown with some sections blonder where the sun had caught it lightening it.  
  
"Hermione or is it Cathy?" He asked, the word 'Cathy' seemed so venomous when he said it. But she ignored the question, the name. The name she had forgotten. She concentrated on him, tall, dark, handsome, that nose, still greasy slightly, hair longer, less grey then she had imagined, only a few single strands. He was still beautiful. He was still the same unchanging Severus, she the ever-changing chit of a girl. He had called her that, the night he had left her. She realised soon that he was giving her one of his impatient looks, she wondered if Neville had passed potions without her. Not impossible but a warm idea. She had never liked to think of the others, her closer friends, family. Not after the burning's, she had been up there, only just saved by Severus and his position as spy was revealed and he had said it was dangerous and gone on and on about it. So he had ended it and she left.  
  
"Hermione's dead, she was burnt to death." She could still feel the flames getting stronger, hotter, she had marks on her feet, it had taken a while to heal but she had done it in some nice sterile hospital in Egypt when on the run. Bill Weasley being the last person she knew to see her 'alive'. Then she disappeared without a trace, getting lost in the muggle world. She could feel his frown, his touches, he was trying to get her to look into his eyes, anything but that.  
  
He tilted her head up towards him, his eyes so haunting and black, eyes were the window to the soul and his was black to the core but not in a bad way in a troubled way. But she had always loved them, always loved him. He was pleading with her, he seemed so lonely, so quiet, so unlike the bitter acrid Severus she had fallen in love with and then found the gentler side to him. Hermione didn't know how or why it was happening but her lips were getting nearer to his, his hand on her lower back bringing her closer.  
  
"No," Hermione said trying to pull back from him but he held her firmly, she pushed him away. "No I don't want this. You ended it Severus Snape. I was injured, I needed you and you left me-"  
  
"If I could explain Hermione, why I did-" He had begun cutting her off but as soon as he had begun she returned the favour. He looked so, disappointed, upset, something that stirred in her a fragile state she hated how he did this to her.  
  
"NO! This isn't fair Severus, I have my own life now. I could have a boyfriend for all you know, this is my life, you can't just storm back and expect me after eight years to fall back into your arms and back into your bed!" Hermione said incensed by him, Hermione paced the floor behind the worn sofa. "Gods Severus I forgot how arrogant you are."  
  
The silence was stifling, she wanted to break down and cry, her life wasn't perfect, she went out every night looking for them all in a way. She wished she was with him but now he was here she didn't want it, didn't want these feelings. Hermione rubbed her temples reminiscent of him when angered. Severus frowned creases appearing in his brow, he had worry lines, she should find him repulsive but she found them endearing. Severus walked over to her putting a hand on her shoulder. She couldn't shrug it off, Hermione turned and was enveloped by the warmth of his robes. She began to cry, she hadn't cried when he dumped her she just ran.  
  
"It'll be alright Hermione, I'm not going to leave you ever again. I've come to take you home." 


	3. Mouth

Chapter Three: Mouth  
Dedicated to: Persons who steal chairs with clever usage of flags!  
AN: Thanks to the reviewers!!!! I'm going by Lexicon's, grudgingly I do admit, version of the timeline which states Hermione to have been born in 1980 so the gang when Hermione left was in their sixth year. There will be more chapters after this, even though it does seem a little final.  
- Octavia x -  
  
Would it be my fault if I could turn you on?  
Would I be so bad if I could turn you on?  
When I kiss your mouth I want to taste it  
Turn you upside down, don't want to waste it  
I jump on you, you jump on me  
You push me out and even though I love you  
I'd be inclined to slap you in the mouth  
When I kiss your salty lips ~ Mouth by Merril Bainbridge  
  
"It'll be alright Hermione, I'm not going to leave you ever again. I've come to take you home." Hermione froze in Severus's warm arms. Home, she'd wanted to go for years secretly but she could never go, it was too hard and there were too many memories. Severus sensing Hermione's anxiousness, tightened his grip on her breathing in the apple scent in her hair, it was marvellous and intoxicating. Hermione tried to relax to him but there were so many questions, so many things that hung in the air for them. He just expected her to take him back at the drop of a hat. "Hermione I know how you feel but we need you, all of us, your friends, your family. Your absence was heartbreaking to all of us."  
  
"That makes it alright does it?" Hermione said bitterly, Severus sighed. Memories of the burnings still tore them apart. That terrible night. She had almost died, he had almost let her die, how would she ever trust him again?  
  
"No but I miss you, I need you. I am sorry you know." Severus said tiredly, he felt old and she felt older. They both wished they could turn back time did this differently but they couldn't and they probably wouldn't. Hermione was still tense in Severus's arms he slowly let go of her, she relaxed a little but also felt her heart break once again because of him.  
  
"Do you?" Hermione asked looking at him almost hopeful before putting a sterner face on. "Are you really? You were going to let me die Severus. That's hardly the most loveable thing to do. Oh darling I do love you but I have to let them kill you." Hermione raged. He had hurt her, he had almost let her die before his conscious got a hold of him, he would have let her die. He would have let them kill her.  
  
"It wasn't just about you Hermione or are you still too selfish to realise that, it was about the cause. I did what I had to do for the cause!" Severus said loudly, snapping at her. The two were so stuck in the past, on that fateful night, the night of the burnings.  
  
*September 18th 1996*  
  
Hermione Granger, a fifteen year old girl ran out of Hogsmeade's book shop with several books in her arms and one brightly wrapped parcel which was oddly enough was shaped like a book despite it's rather garish wrapping paper. It was her birthday tomorrow and the parcel she held was from her best friend. His name was Harry Potter, and to say he was having a bad time at the moment was a bit of an understatement. For all his fifth year he was plagued with bad dreams of a corridor with a door in it and the new Defence Against Dark Arts teacher although relatively sane was harsh on Harry for some bizarre reason and even more so on Hermione. Hermione during her fifth year had developed a close relationship with her potions professor, Severus, together they had learned to live and love. Hermione couldn't have been happier she had good marks, good friends and a nice boyfriend, he insisted she called him that, life couldn't have been better. But it could and did get a lot worse. A witch not on her guard was not a wise witch but a muggleborn witch not on her guard could be deadly and the four cloaked deatheaters took advantage of the witch struggling with her books.  
  
Severus Snape, potions master and professor, lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. It had been thirteen hours, twenty six minutes and fifty two seconds since he had last seen his girlfriend, since he had seen his Hermione. Helping her with a research project in her fifth year the two had grown close and with the headmasters permission had begun a relationship albeit a wobbly one. Although Hermione had probably aged two years maximum by using the time turner, their relationship would be frowned upon so they had kept it a secret. So she was protected from his other job. As a deatheater. Severus was brought out of his silent reverie by the sharp throbbing pain in his arm, another meeting with his favourite man. Voldermort.  
  
Apparating, after telling the headmaster quickly about his plans, Severus appeared in a field were large pyres had been erected. He had dressed in the deatheater garb they all had to wear and wore the cruel blank mask with disgust. Voldermort, his 'lord' and 'master' sat in a roughly carved throne infront of it all. Severus walked towards the Lord with his head bowed and crouched low as a sign of respect.  
  
"Ah Severus, how wonderful to see you again." Voldermort said, his voice was almost cheery. Something was wrong, something was very wrong, this was not like the usual revels.  
  
"My lord. May I ask why we are here." Severus said respectfully, Severus noticed something move behind him and then a scream and a plea.  
  
"We are here Severus for fun. I thought you might enjoy this particular revel of mine." Voldermort said with a malicious grin as the prisoners were brought in, nearly naked muggle women, a few muggle men and one beautiful creature. His Hermione. Severus swallowed the rising bile. The gig was up. Voldermort knew and was testing his loyalty. Severus faltered, not realising his lord had asked him a question. "You are my loyal servant are you not Severus?"  
  
Severus looked sharply at Voldermort and nodded calculatingly. It took Severus a while to find his tongue.  
  
"Yes my lord." Severus said curtly.  
  
"Good then you may be the one watch your precious little mudblood witch burn." Voldermort said cruelly as Lucius Malfoy tied a beaten up Hermione to the stake surrounded by kindling and wood. She was to burn to death, she didn't have her wand, it was ironic in a sense. A real witch couldn't burn to death, they always escaped but Hermione who in the eyes of Voldermort was scum would burn like the muggles. She would be scarred forever. "Do it."  
  
Severus looked at Hermione, he was hesitating he couldn't reveal his position as a spy too many lives depended on it. Severus watched as the flames slowly rose and started to burn at her feet. Hermione was screaming, pleading. The fire was so hot and it hurt her so much but he wouldn't move. Then like a black knight in shining armour Severus swooped in to save her cursing several people simultaneously. Severus grabbed Hermione breaking her bonds before apparating out of the field, Severus just catching the backlash of his 'betrayal'. Severus and Hermione collapsed outside of Hogwarts. They were home and they were alive but the cost had been too great. The cost of this had been their relationship.  
  
*Hermione's sitting room*  
  
Hermione looked at Severus who stood opposing her, she was tired, he was tired. She was tired of running, tired of fighting, she just wished it could have been different. Hermione knew he was right, it had been because of both of them that there relationship had failed they had doomed it from the start. Hermione started to cry again, Severus went to hold her.  
  
"Don't! Just leave me alone Severus, just leave me alone." Hermione said turning once again away from him.  
  
"Do you really want that?" Severus asked sadly and received his answer with a curt nod. Severus sighed picking up his cloak and putting it on. Severus took a bundle of letters out of his pocket and left it on a small side table with a card. "If you change your mind-"  
  
"I won't." Hermione said curtly interrupting him.  
  
"If you do I'm in Sydney for a few days, I'll be leaving next Friday. Goodbye Hermione Granger." Severus said apparating from the house, Hermione turned around quickly. He had sounded so hurt, so empty, so lost. Hermione noticed the bundle of letters addressed to her and picked up a card with the name of his hotel on and an address and phone number. Hermione sighed sitting down on the lumpy couch fingering the card.  
  
"Goodbye Severus Snape." 


End file.
